I’m embarrassed to say I hit my limit last week and showed it by crying. While I don’t have the thickest skin, I do pride myself in not being reduced to tears at work. In fact, I tend more toward angry outbursts than toward sniveling, pathetic episodes.
My new boss has a habit of “screaming” at me in e-mails (i.e., using all caps to make a point). After dealing with a string of complaints, being told I don’t exert as much effort in projects as he does, and being called inefficient to my face, I lost my composure. The worst part is I cried in front of another boss because I went to him for advice. I couldn’t rid myself of tears in the privacy of the restroom or my car; no, I had to melt like a fool in front of one the most respected (and nicest) executives in the office. Perhaps that is why I did it, though. I most likely sought and welcomed his comfort.
Prior to my meltdown, I consulted another assistant who supported this tyrant of a boss before I was assigned to him. I laughed when she told me, “I was wondering how long it would take for you to call me!” She shared the same complaints and shared his confession that he likes to be “mothered.” That revelation opened my eyes to realizing I need to get out of this line of work. I refuse to “mother” an executive who’s old enough to be my father. I do not work as a babysitter or personal assistant. I was hired to support business-related functions. If I don’t meet those expectations, then it’s time for me to make a change.
I have new boss because a large company acquired my employer last year. Personnel have shifted, and my responsibilities increased when I was assigned new and additional people to support. The tyrant, of course, wants 100% of my support and therefore becomes frustrated when I devote time to the six other people who need help. This, paired with the other admin’s complaints that mirror mine, lead me to believe most employers and bosses simply want bodies to fill support roles. Large companies don’t care about the welfare of their staff, despite their vacuous pledges to do so.
I suppose the lesson learned from my recent meltdown is this: if the company would never cry over me, why should I cry over them?